I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
