he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
