Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
