i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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