i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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