Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I want to have your abortion
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
