Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
