I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
