Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
