i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
