her vagine was all disorganized.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize