At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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