i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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