I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
