Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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