so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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