do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My vagina just clenched in fear
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
