i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
