never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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