i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize