Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
