can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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