So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize