he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
