even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
