i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
