Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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