great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
