i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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