hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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