East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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