remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
