At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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