New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
