Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
