Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
