garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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