youre lurking in front of me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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