Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
