And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
