This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
