i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
