Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
