I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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