so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
