Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
