we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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