i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
