I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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