I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm eating all of the evidence.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
