im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
