I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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