I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
