You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
