I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
