Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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