so explain again why im purple
no
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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