We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
