were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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