Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
