he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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