He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
