i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
