I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
