john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
